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The Old Soda Shop
Excerpt
Sam
Balantyne trudged down the slushy sidewalk of the historic district of Greely, Colorado ,
gazing unseeing into the falling slush. The gray sky suited his
mood. Very few people were foolish enough to be out walking in this
mess. Most people had the sense to be at home or somewhere warm.
Not Sam. No, thanks to his flaky, thoughtless sexy roommate, he walked
down an icy street in a part of town where even bikes were frowned upon just
off campus. It was safe enough not to look. No random cars would splash murky
water on unwary pedestrians. No
cars were permitted on the brick work streets of Old Town .
Sam
knew where he was going and exactly how many steps in the icy slush it would
take to get there. An hour ago he’d been contentedly curled up on his bed
studying for midterms next week, when his flighty room mate called. He
curled his hands into fists inside the deep pockets of his navy wool pea
coat. Fucking
Matt. Such a God damn pie in the sky dreamer. How did I end up with an art
student for a room mate in the first place? Every month turned into a
damn race against the clock to see if Matt would be able to pull together his
share of the rent, or the cable, or whatever. Bad enough that Sam
perpetually fed the man, now this.Apparently Matt had gotten the rent money but
couldn’t be bothered to come home and give it to Sam. No. Sam had to meet
him at the soda shop off Fifth Street because Matt had other things to
do. Ordinarily, Sam loved the soda shop. He and Matt had spent many
great sunny afternoons there, sitting on the patio, guy watching and laughing,
even occasionally sharing a lemon Italian Cream Soda.
The
bitter cold wind cut through the thick wool of his coat, and Sam caught himself
wondering if Matt had had the sense to wear a jacket himself when he left the
apartment that morning. Probably not. The sun had been shining
then, and Matt never could see beyond the moment.
Someone,
possibly even Matt himself, had put a colorful knitted ski cap on the head of
the old stone lion that guarded the occult book shop next door to the soda
shop. The lilting notes of a sexy little jazz number drifted from the tiny bar
on the other side of the soda shop. The music, the glow of the light from
the window, it created a perfect backdrop for the vision that met Sam’s eyes
when he looked up. In the golden glow of light from the soda shop window, he
saw Matt, sitting at a tiny table for two on the front patio of the shop.
He wore a thin leather jacket, and Sam’s navy blue wool beanie tugged down low
over his ears as he sat on the tiny black iron chair. His booted feet
rested on the other seat. Matt puffed on one of the little clove
cigarettes he favored and cupped his hands covered in fingerless gloves around
the tiny source of heat. The little table in front of him held an ashtray
and two steaming mugs of hot chocolate into which the slushy snow fell.
Sam shook his head. Smoking cloves was bad enough, better than tobacco
scent-wise by a small margin, but who the hell sat on the patio in this
freaking weather? Air headed art majors, that’s who. The words
spilled from his mouth before he could stop them, a ludicrous tirade that his own
mother would have cringed to hear. “God damn it Matt! How many times have
I told you to dress warmly when you leave the house? You’re going to get
sick! And...” He snatched the cigarette out of his roommate’s hand.
“Smoking this shit will kill you!” Matt turned to look at him, and Sam nearly
groaned. The heavy feeling in his heart, the anger at Matt’s foolishness,
seemed to melt away as he caught the expression in those bright blue
eyes. He wasn’t surprised to find his own heart beating faster, stirring
with desire despite the cold. He was surprised by the lilt of happiness
that brightened the grey of the late winter day. Fuck. He didn’t
want to feel this way, to let anyone have the ability to create sunshine in his
day with a crooked little smile. Especially not Matt. Matt drifted
along perfectly content, dreaming and painting and starving for his art.
Sam dreamed of bigger things. He wanted success, the bright lights of a big
city, and by big he didn’t mean Denver ! He wanted
all the luxuries life could afford. And that look in Matt’s eyes… had he always
looked at him that way? Shaking his head, Sam declined the seat Matt
removed his boots from with a grimace.
“No,
thanks. I’ll pass. Look. I’m going home this weekend.” He
hadn’t planned to, but a weekend in Denver with his mom and dad, siblings running
all over, would screw his head back on straight. “You keep the rent
money. Use it to find another place to stay, okay? I can’t keep doing
this every month.”
Matt
protested instantly, the shock on his face heart wrenching. “Sam, I
promise. It won’t happen again. I got a job. That’s why I couldn’t
come to the apartment.”
Sam
shook his head, schooling his features to hide his feelings. “No. It’s
just not working out for us.” But
it could, his heart argued. He shut it down instantly. Not taking that chance.
Better to end things now, before either of them got any more involved and while
they both still had the chance to make their dreams come true.
“Sam,
I love you. I don’t want to move out. Just, please, give me one more
month to prove I can do this?” Matt’s voice cracked on the words he forced
out. Sam couldn’t tell if tears or melting snowflakes caused the dampness
on his pale cheeks.
Hardening
his heart, Sam continued. “That’s just it, Matt. I don’t want to be
loved. I don’t want to love anyone. I just wanted to get laid a
little. I need freedom to pursue my dreams, and taking care of you, it’s
a burden I don’t want. I thought it was all just fun. You’re taking
things way too seriously. So, please, do us both a favor and leave before
I get back Monday afternoon?” His dad would lend him the money for the
rent this month.
Unable
to meet those blue eyes without throwing his arms around Matt’s slim shoulders
and hugging him tight, without promising that they could try again, without
swearing he would never be such an ass again, Sam turned back and stumbled
against the stone lion, knocking the knit cap into the slush, where eddies of
muddy liquid blurred its bright colors. He whirled and tromped back up
the street he’d just come down, ignoring Matt calling his name behind him as he
went.
Oh no! My heart is breaking. This is so beautiful. I've got tears in my eyes. Well written, Lee.
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