Crawling Into Bed With
HALEY WALSH
And a Good Book
Important
things first, are these sheets silk or cotton?
Well you know, a nice brushed
cotton can be just as luxurious as silk—and you don’t keep sliding away from
your lover.
Excellent point, that is. What
are you wearing?
Furry slippers.
Nice! What
are we snacking on in bed while we read tonight?
Well, it’s long, and it’s
thick, and it’s pretty creamy…a Creamsicle!
Ooh... It might get messy up in here! If
I open this nightstand drawer, what will I find?
A
shoehorn.
Did you say a shoehorn? My father... I didn't know people still used those. Do
you roll up in the blankets like a burrito, or kick the covers off during the
night?
Kick ‘em off. I’m hot stuff.
Can
I put my cold feet on your calves to warm them up?
Oh, that would be nice.
What
are we reading?
Here’s an excerpt of CRAZY
LIKE A FOXE:
Skyler studied the fence and opened the
car door. He stood on the sidewalk looking up at the metal bars.
Philip scooted along the seat, opened
the window, and hung out of it. “What are you doing, Skyler?” he rasped. “The
gate is locked.”
Skyler walked along the fence. It was
some kind of painted metal where the top curved outward to sharp, discouraging
points. “I bet we can climb that.”
Philip scrambled out of the car
followed by Rodolfo. “We most certainly cannot.”
“Sure we can. If you’d give me a boost.
I can pull myself over that curved bit and jump down to the other side.”
“Skyler!”
“What?”
“Are you insane?”
“He’s got the museum exhibits in there!
He has no right to them. And he might have murdered Mr. Huxley to get them.”
“Then maybe you should call Sidney?”
“And that will take forever and he
might get rid of all the evidence by then.” He grabbed the fence and looked up.
“I’m gonna climb it.”
But Philip grabbed him. “Don’t be
ridiculous. You’re not thinking. You’ll get caught. Don’t you think this place
has cameras?”
They both turned their heads and spied
one aimed at the front gate. “It’s looking at the gate, not over here.”
Dave slammed his door and joined them
just as Jamie came up beside him. “We could get into big trouble, Sky,” said
Dave.
“Which is why I’m going alone. Will
someone give me a boost?”
Everyone looked at each other.
“Come on, guys. SFC? Scooby Gang?”
Dave shook his head. “What are you
gonna do when you get to the lock-up?”
“Well, I’ll…” He glanced at the other
metal roll-up doors. They all seemed to be secured with padlocks. “Oh. Um…”
Dave sighed and turned back toward his
car. But instead of walking around to the driver’s side, he opened the trunk.
He took out something and returned to the fence. “I suppose we’re gonna need
this.”
Jamie blinked at him. “What is that?”
Dave rested the long, two-handled tool
through the fence’s bars. “It’s a bolt cutter.”
“And why do you have a bolt cutter in
your car?”
“In case I come across a fire and have
to get through something. Always be prepared.”
Skyler grinned. “Dave, you’re a
lifesaver. Boost me?”
Dave swept the others with a glance,
quirked a smile, and crouched to lace his hands together as a step.
“Dave!” screeched Jamie. “Are you
crazy? Skyler could get into a lot of trouble.”
“That’s why I’m going with him. What
about you, sweet thing?”
“Me?” He glared skeptically at the
fence. “Climb that?”
“I’ll help you.”
Jamie sighed dramatically. “Good grief.
Okay.”
“Well if he’s going, then I’m going,”
said Rodolfo.
“No you’re not!” said Philip. “I am
really putting my foot down.”
“And it’s so cute when you do that,
Philip. But I'm going to help Skyler. It’s what friends do.”
“No, friends help friends stay out of
jail. I swear, Skyler, sometimes you are too stupid to live. Oh for the love
of… Fine! I’ll stay on this side of the fence. Someone will need to bail you
imbeciles out when you get arrested.”
Rodolfo suddenly grabbed him, leaned
him over, and gave him the wettest, loudest kiss, Skyler had ever heard. “You
are my hero!” he declared and let Philip go.
Slightly dazed, Philip wiped at his
mouth and took a staggering step back. “It’s ridiculous,” he muttered.
Skyler set his foot on the step Dave
made and by rested his hand on Dave’s shoulder. Dave managed to hoist Skyler up
and boosted him higher. Skyler grabbed hold of the sharp curved fence along the
top. Designed to keep people out, it hadn’t looked all that impenetrable from
the ground, but up close and personal, it was formidable enough. “Can you boost
me a little higher?” he stage whispered.
Dave put his back into it and Skyler
threw a leg up over the curve. Those spikes were dangerously close to his
groin, but he tried not to think about it as he rolled over it and grabbed onto
the bars to slow his progress down to the other side. “Hey! Piece of cake. How
about Rodolfo next?”
Rodolfo’s sinewy elegance on a
dancefloor did not seem to translate to climbing over fences. He squeaked and
squawked his way over the top after much work by both Dave and Jamie. Philip
muttered and wrung his hands the whole time.
“Okay, Jamie,” said Dave. “You’re
next.”
Jamie gnawed on his thumbnail. “It’s
really high. I don’t think I can make it.”
Dave leaned forward and bestowed a
gentle kiss and they were lip-locked for quite a few moments. Jamie pulled back
and gazed dreamily at his boyfriend. “Well why didn’t you say that before?”
He dug his foot into the step Dave made
and reached up. Being much taller than Skyler certainly helped, but he dangled
precariously from the pointed ends before he was able to stumble over the
fence, but not before tearing his shirt first.
“Fuck. That was a Dolce & Gabbana,
and I didn’t buy it at an outlet.”
“Sorry, Jamie,” said Skyler, grimacing
at the tear.
“Here I come,” said Dave, oblivious to
the fashion disaster that had just occurred. He jumped up, grabbed the pointy
part, and hauled himself up, arm muscles bulging.
Everyone stopped to watch him. By brute
strength, he nimbly cleared the fence and landed superhero-style on the other
side.
Skyler and Jamie exchanged a look. “My
fire-fightin’ man,” murmured Jamie.
“What was the number again, minino?” asked Rodolfo of Philip,
nervously bouncing on the other side of the fence.
“One fifty-six. And would you all
please hurry?”
Dave grabbed the bolt cutters through
the bars and followed as Skyler led the way. The place was brightly lit, so
that was no problem. But he did worry about the cameras he kept seeing aimed in
all directions over what looked like an endless compound of tiny garages.
They followed the numbers up to the one
they were looking for and stood before it. It, like all the others, was sealed
with a padlock.
Dave held the tool, what looked like a
giant set of pliers[L1] , and cocked his head. “Shall we
further break and enter?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” Skyler was
suddenly feeling the weight of what they were doing. In the heat of the moment,
it was all very exciting, but this was serious. They had already trespassed
onto private property. Was he really going to break and enter, add burglary to
any charges levied against him should he be caught? “Maybe I should do it,
Dave.”
Dave waved him off. “Skyler, there’s no
way you can work this thing. And we’ve already been spotted by about a million
cameras. That safety ship sailed the moment we climbed that fence.” He lifted
the bolt cutters and placed the pincer end on the padlock’s shackle. “Bye-bye,
career,” he said, before putting those triceps to good use again. The cutter
seemed to cut through the lock’s shackle like butter and it snapped in two.
“That’s a pretty handy thing to have
around…as is the man wielding it,” said Jamie, leaning over to kiss him again.
Skyler waved everyone back. “Let me do
it. I don’t want your fingerprints all over it. Why don’t I ever remember about
gloves?” Delicately with one finger, he pushed the lock away, knelt, and threw
the roll doors up.
It made a lot of noise in the quiet of
the night, but once it was firmly set overhead, Skyler peered inside. Naturally
it was too dark to see anything.
As if on cue, four phones were whipped
out at the same time with flashlight beams spearing into the darkness.
“Ho-ly shit,”
said Dave.
***
You can see all Haley Walsh's books—all the Foxe books in order including the novellas, at SkylerFoxeMysteries.com. Sign up for the newsletter and join the Street Team!
