Welcome back readers! This is our third post discussing the "men can't write romance" post I spotted on a social networking site last month. Remember to leave a comment with your two cents, or buck fifty, or whatever, to be entered to win the $10 Amazon gift card at the end of the month.
Sara York Speaks on Men and Romance
Men and Romance, few people think the two have much in common, especially when it comes to writing. Men are supposed to be action oriented, and show no emotions. They seem unencumbered by the baggage of traditional romance so how could they write it? It’s simple, our assumptions about men are wrong. We place men in an archetype, expecting the lines around them to never fuzz or cross but humans are much more complex than archetypes allow.
Throughout history there have been men who have penned romance stories. Bards and storytellers through the ages have spun tales that incited the romantic in others. In more recent history men like Leigh Greenwood, who has a healthy backlist, hide behind gender-neutral names, disguising the fact that they are men. Then there is Jennifer Wilde, really Tom E. Huff, who also wrote straight romance. There are more, like J.W. McKenna, S. L. Carpenter, and Chris Tanglen. Some men prefer to stay hidden behind women’s names in the straight romance genre, in the gay genre it seem to sway the other way, where it’s okay for men to write romance.
I love writing male characters, whether it’s straight guys or gay men, I love delving into the intricacies of men. Men are deeper and more emotional than society gives them credit. Men are very romantic but I think part of our problem in believing that men can be romantic is our notion of romance. When we believe that romance has to be a certain way, look and feel exactly as it does in our thoughts then we miss out on the opportunity of true romance.
Romance isn’t an activity or an event, it’s the twisting and turns of our emotions and our excitement that brew together leaving us breathless when our partner comes home from a trip, or the pleasure of a call or text from your lover. We place value on those little treasures because of the way we think of our partners and ourselves. So romance is manufactured in your mind and not the other person in your relationship. You decide if something is romantic and for far too long women have had a set script for romance thus blocking out the true romance of men right in front of them.
Men exhibit romance in many ways, through thoughtful gestures to words and touches of love. When you can see the depth of their romance it’s not too hard to believe that men can write romance. Every day, millions of men are being romantic, but all too often their gestures are brushed aside. It’s time to start seeing your man for how he really is and say good by to archetypes, allowing men to show, embrace and write romance.