Loving Jacob
An
M/M Contemporary Romance
Loving Jacob
Prologue
Malcolm
Jenner kept one eye on the silent, dark-haired man standing at the rear of the
room as he made his way toward the glass door leading to the riotous explosion
of color that was Penny's garden. Jacob didn't look like he was doing very well.
Against the smooth blue paint of the walls his face was pale, his violet eyes red-rimmed
and damp-looking. Disarrayed dark curls testified to the fact he'd been running
his fingers through them, a habit that Malcolm remembered well from their time
together. Malcolm had no intention of allowing Jacob to leave the reception until
he'd spoken to him, but the other man did a very creditable job of keeping
people between them and avoiding eye contact with Malcolm.
Malcolm
eased his way around the room, dodging chatting guests in their wedding finery and
caterers in black pants and white shirts alike, moving ever closer to his
target. He'd given his brother, Rick, the neurosurgeon, the task of capturing
Jacob's attention and unobtrusively leading him to the patio doors, where they
now stood engaged in conversation. Rick now watched Malcolm's approach and
attempted to keep Jacob from doing the same.
He
slipped behind the other two and reached out to grasp Rick's hand in a quick
shake. "Thanks, Rick, I'll take him from here."
Jacob
whirled around, dark curls scattering. He raised his face, and Malcolm's heart
ached at the pain in those violet eyes. He extended a slightly shaky tanned
hand to brush the hair away from Jacob's forehead, but pulled it back quickly
when Jacob flinched.
"Jake,
baby, I'm so sorry. I know how hard it must be to be here without Peter. Come
outside and talk—" He broke off as Jacob began shaking his head.
"No.
No, I can't be around you right now. Don't want to talk to you, Malcolm."
Tears leaked in a tiny silvery stream from Jacob's eyes, and his slightly
muscled frame appeared to vibrate, he held himself so tensely. The slender
hands that had once stroked his flesh with urgent need rose to push him away,
then run again through the overly long black curls nearly touching his
shoulders. Malcolm wanted to embrace the other man, to absorb all the hurt this
day had brought his beloved, and replace it with warmth and security.
"I
have to talk to you. There are things you need to know; things we need to
discuss." Malcolm's heart broke for many reasons: to see the desolation on
Jacob's face, not least because he knew, deep inside, he actually felt a
glimmer of happiness that Jacob was unattached again. It had to be difficult
for Jacob to be here, surrounded by Peter's family at his sister's wedding. He
had a distinctly uncharitable wish that some of the obvious sorrow and anxiety
Jacob so clearly felt was on his behalf.
"Not
today, Malcolm. Today is for Peter, his family and friends." Jacob didn't
seem like he could handle much more stress on top of the wedding, and Malcolm
was willing to wait. He had, after all, been waiting for Peter and Jacob to end
their relationship for the past five years, hadn't he? He had been highly
skeptical that it would even last that long, had been positive that Jacob's
relationship with Peter had been a deliberate attempt to hurt himself. He
frowned. He hadn't ever wished for Peter's death, though. The traffic accident
the previous year that had taken Peter's life had been traumatic for Jacob, and
he'd wished fervently that he could be there to help the other man through the
devastation of the loss. Loss was something he had felt fully capable of
dealing with.
"I
was surprised—Penny and I both were—that you accepted the invitation. We appreciated
your coming." Especially since it gives
me the chance to be here with you, to establish contact again.
"Of
course I came. This is about family. Peter would have wanted me to come. Family
was everything to him. Penny practically raised him, you know, after their
parents died." Jacob's confidence that he was doing the right thing showed
in his steady voice.
Malcolm
understood that, too. How could he not? For so many years, family duty and
responsibility had been his guiding force. Every decision he'd made had been
considered from their perspective. What would his father, the neurosurgeon,
think? What would his mother, the society wife, have to say? How would their
society friends and neighbors view his actions? Since he'd married Penny twenty
years ago, her brother Peter had been a part of his family. At one time, he'd
considered his responsibilities to his family more important than even this man
before him today. That time had passed, though it had taken a boot in the ass
from an unlikely source for him to see it.
"How
about if I come by in the morning with breakfast? Will someone be staying with
you? I don't think you should be alone after this." Attending Peter's
sister's wedding without his husband of five years had been a surprising action
on Jacob's part. He and Penny had fully expected Jacob would say good riddance
to bad rubbish without a backward glance at his deceased spouse's remaining
family. Hardly a charitable view, but Jacob had plenty of reasons to dislike
Penny and him.
Jacob
nodded and gestured toward a fair-haired man in his midthirties. "Peter's
cousin, James, is staying at the condo with me. He's taking care of things."
The condo he referred to had been Peter's when they’d first met, and Peter had
kept it as a vacation rental property after moving to Vermont to teach in the
education department at the University of Vermont.
As
though sensing he was the topic of conversation, the blond man turned in their
direction, and seeing Jacob talking to Malcolm, broke off his conversation with
the group of people where he stood and headed in their direction.
"All
right, early tomorrow morning. I'll bring you breakfast from the Black Forest
Deli. I really want to talk to you and clear the air between us." He
wanted more than that, but was unwilling to speak of the want and desire that
pulsed through him in the blond man's presence. Mentioning the gooey cherry pastry from the deli they had
frequented as a couple was a deliberate, and he admitted, slightly underhanded
way of bringing their past to the present. In the months that their affair had
run hot, he had made a habit of gifting Jacob with the sweet treat on lazy
Sunday mornings after long hot nights of steamy sex.
"Excuse
me," the blond interrupted them. "Jacob is needed in the other room."
Jacob
nodded and took the other man's hand in a white-knuckled grip that didn't
escape Malcolm's notice. Good, Jacob had feelings for him still, even if they
weren't the warm fuzzy kind of feelings Malcolm had once denied wanting from him.
That white-knuckled grip denoted the strength of the feelings involved. Given
half a chance, he'd turn Jacob's hatred into love again. He could battle
anything but indifference. "I'll see you in the morning, Malcolm."
James's
blue eyes burned into Malcolm's. He possessively raised Jacob's hand to press
it into the crook of his arm. Stepping fractionally closer to the younger man,
he smiled disdainfully. "Not too early, Jenner. We need our sleep."
Malcolm
followed the other two men with his eyes as they left the room, his gaze locking
on that spot where the two hands clasped together. Fuck. Had Jacob already
moved on from Peter's death? Not again,
he vowed. You're coming back to me, where
you belong. He wouldn't take a backseat for another man in Jacob's life
ever again. Once before, that beautiful man had been his, and he would be
again. Malcolm had learned a lot in the last five years, and most of that
learning had been done the hard way.
An
attraction unlike any he'd ever felt for another man in the years before and
since Jacob still pulsed between them. Just being in the same room with the
slight dark-haired man sent prickles of awareness rushing through his body and
thickened his cock in anticipation. Though he'd tried like hell to deny it, he'd
known when he first set eyes on the younger Jacob, newly hired to work in the
technology department at his office, that they were meant to be together, and
this time out, he would do anything and everything in his power to guarantee
that outcome. He'd made the mistake once before of putting another's needs
before his love's, of believing that only he could direct their future. The
duty and responsibility that his parents had drummed into him from birth to
carry on the family name had been fulfilled. The price it had cost him had been
more than he would have willingly paid if he'd been aware of the consequences
of honoring his family name above all others.
So
yeah, he'd bring up the past any chance he got, remind Jacob as often as
possible how good things had been between them from the start.
Discounted 25% at
Smashwords with
Coupon Code: YF34J
SALE PRICES GOOD THROUGH JUN 1
Also available in French at Amazon
