Crawling Into Bed With
And a Good Book
Important things first, are these sheets silk or cotton?
Well you know, a nice brushed cotton can be just as luxurious as silk—and you don’t keep sliding away from your lover.
Excellent point, that is. What are you wearing?
Nice! What are we snacking on in bed while we read tonight?
Well, it’s long, and it’s thick, and it’s pretty creamy…a Creamsicle!
Ooh... It might get messy up in here! If I open this nightstand drawer, what will I find?
Did you say a shoehorn? My father... I didn't know people still used those. Do you roll up in the blankets like a burrito, or kick the covers off during the night?
Kick ‘em off. I’m hot stuff.
Can I put my cold feet on your calves to warm them up?
Oh, that would be nice.
What are we reading?
We are listening to the new audiobook release of the sixth Skyler Foxe Mystery, Crazy Like A Foxe .
Here’s an excerpt of CRAZY LIKE A FOXE:
Skyler studied the fence and opened the car door. He stood on the sidewalk looking up at the metal bars.
Philip scooted along the seat, opened the window, and hung out of it. “What are you doing, Skyler?” he rasped. “The gate is locked.”
Skyler walked along the fence. It was some kind of painted metal where the top curved outward to sharp, discouraging points. “I bet we can climb that.”
Philip scrambled out of the car followed by Rodolfo. “We most certainly cannot.”
“Sure we can. If you’d give me a boost. I can pull myself over that curved bit and jump down to the other side.”
“Are you insane?”
“He’s got the museum exhibits in there! He has no right to them. And he might have murdered Mr. Huxley to get them.”
“Then maybe you should call Sidney?”
“And that will take forever and he might get rid of all the evidence by then.” He grabbed the fence and looked up. “I’m gonna climb it.”
But Philip grabbed him. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not thinking. You’ll get caught. Don’t you think this place has cameras?”
They both turned their heads and spied one aimed at the front gate. “It’s looking at the gate, not over here.”
Dave slammed his door and joined them just as Jamie came up beside him. “We could get into big trouble, Sky,” said Dave.
“Which is why I’m going alone. Will someone give me a boost?”
Everyone looked at each other.
“Come on, guys. SFC? Scooby Gang?”
Dave shook his head. “What are you gonna do when you get to the lock-up?”
“Well, I’ll…” He glanced at the other metal roll-up doors. They all seemed to be secured with padlocks. “Oh. Um…”
Dave sighed and turned back toward his car. But instead of walking around to the driver’s side, he opened the trunk. He took out something and returned to the fence. “I suppose we’re gonna need this.”
Jamie blinked at him. “What is that?”
Dave rested the long, two-handled tool through the fence’s bars. “It’s a bolt cutter.”
“And why do you have a bolt cutter in your car?”
“In case I come across a fire and have to get through something. Always be prepared.”
Skyler grinned. “Dave, you’re a lifesaver. Boost me?”
Dave swept the others with a glance, quirked a smile, and crouched to lace his hands together as a step.
“Dave!” screeched Jamie. “Are you crazy? Skyler could get into a lot of trouble.”
“That’s why I’m going with him. What about you, sweet thing?”
“Me?” He glared skeptically at the fence. “Climb that?”
“I’ll help you.”
Jamie sighed dramatically. “Good grief. Okay.”
“Well if he’s going, then I’m going,” said Rodolfo.
“No you’re not!” said Philip. “I am really putting my foot down.”
“And it’s so cute when you do that, Philip. But I'm going to help Skyler. It’s what friends do.”
“No, friends help friends stay out of jail. I swear, Skyler, sometimes you are too stupid to live. Oh for the love of… Fine! I’ll stay on this side of the fence. Someone will need to bail you imbeciles out when you get arrested.”
Rodolfo suddenly grabbed him, leaned him over, and gave him the wettest, loudest kiss, Skyler had ever heard. “You are my hero!” he declared and let Philip go.
Slightly dazed, Philip wiped at his mouth and took a staggering step back. “It’s ridiculous,” he muttered.
Skyler set his foot on the step Dave made and by rested his hand on Dave’s shoulder. Dave managed to hoist Skyler up and boosted him higher. Skyler grabbed hold of the sharp curved fence along the top. Designed to keep people out, it hadn’t looked all that impenetrable from the ground, but up close and personal, it was formidable enough. “Can you boost me a little higher?” he stage whispered.
Dave put his back into it and Skyler threw a leg up over the curve. Those spikes were dangerously close to his groin, but he tried not to think about it as he rolled over it and grabbed onto the bars to slow his progress down to the other side. “Hey! Piece of cake. How about Rodolfo next?”
Rodolfo’s sinewy elegance on a dancefloor did not seem to translate to climbing over fences. He squeaked and squawked his way over the top after much work by both Dave and Jamie. Philip muttered and wrung his hands the whole time.
“Okay, Jamie,” said Dave. “You’re next.”
Jamie gnawed on his thumbnail. “It’s really high. I don’t think I can make it.”
Dave leaned forward and bestowed a gentle kiss and they were lip-locked for quite a few moments. Jamie pulled back and gazed dreamily at his boyfriend. “Well why didn’t you say that before?”
He dug his foot into the step Dave made and reached up. Being much taller than Skyler certainly helped, but he dangled precariously from the pointed ends before he was able to stumble over the fence, but not before tearing his shirt first.
“Fuck. That was a Dolce & Gabbana, and I didn’t buy it at an outlet.”
“Sorry, Jamie,” said Skyler, grimacing at the tear.
“Here I come,” said Dave, oblivious to the fashion disaster that had just occurred. He jumped up, grabbed the pointy part, and hauled himself up, arm muscles bulging.
Everyone stopped to watch him. By brute strength, he nimbly cleared the fence and landed superhero-style on the other side.
Skyler and Jamie exchanged a look. “My fire-fightin’ man,” murmured Jamie.
“What was the number again, minino?” asked Rodolfo of Philip, nervously bouncing on the other side of the fence.
“One fifty-six. And would you all please hurry?”
Dave grabbed the bolt cutters through the bars and followed as Skyler led the way. The place was brightly lit, so that was no problem. But he did worry about the cameras he kept seeing aimed in all directions over what looked like an endless compound of tiny garages.
They followed the numbers up to the one they were looking for and stood before it. It, like all the others, was sealed with a padlock.
Dave held the tool, what looked like a giant set of pliers[L1] , and cocked his head. “Shall we further break and enter?”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” Skyler was suddenly feeling the weight of what they were doing. In the heat of the moment, it was all very exciting, but this was serious. They had already trespassed onto private property. Was he really going to break and enter, add burglary to any charges levied against him should he be caught? “Maybe I should do it, Dave.”
Dave waved him off. “Skyler, there’s no way you can work this thing. And we’ve already been spotted by about a million cameras. That safety ship sailed the moment we climbed that fence.” He lifted the bolt cutters and placed the pincer end on the padlock’s shackle. “Bye-bye, career,” he said, before putting those triceps to good use again. The cutter seemed to cut through the lock’s shackle like butter and it snapped in two.
“That’s a pretty handy thing to have around…as is the man wielding it,” said Jamie, leaning over to kiss him again.
Skyler waved everyone back. “Let me do it. I don’t want your fingerprints all over it. Why don’t I ever remember about gloves?” Delicately with one finger, he pushed the lock away, knelt, and threw the roll doors up.
It made a lot of noise in the quiet of the night, but once it was firmly set overhead, Skyler peered inside. Naturally it was too dark to see anything.
As if on cue, four phones were whipped out at the same time with flashlight beams spearing into the darkness.
“Ho-ly shit,” said Dave.
You can see all Haley Walsh's books—all the Foxe books in order including the novellas, at SkylerFoxeMysteries.com. Sign up for the newsletter and join the Street Team!