#2 – Metonymy
Good
morning and welcome back to my place. *sips coffee* Help yourself, make
yourself at home, just don't dip a wet spoon in the sugar bowl, okay?
I'm
talking about editing lately, giving things some serious thought. When I got
back my first round of edits, I was shocked as all get out to discover that I
really didn't know how to write as well as I thought I did.
At
least, that's what it looked like, with comments all down the margins and
changes throughout the document. I
confess, I seriously thought about throwing it all in. Then I girded my loins
so to speak, and waded in.
Turned
out a lot of those changes were typos that had escaped my notice, and my beta
reader's notice as well.
A
lot of the comments and suggestions made perfect sense, and I proceeded with
the feeling that I was making positive changes in my story that would improve
the reading experience for everyone. Then I hit this one.
His eyes roamed around the room,
restlessly seeking distraction from the unwanted sexual awareness.
It
was tagged IBP.
I
scratched my head. Then I went to my support group of people, the ones who talk
sense into you when you're being all crazy…and I asked them.
Independently
Moving Body Part.
There
was much back and forthing as they told me what this meant.
Silly
me. It never occurred to me that ANYONE
would think that my hero's eyes popped out of his head and started wandering around
the room looking at things whilst his body lounged still on the sofa.
I
didn't like it, because something told me that your overtly naïve assertion
that people would think such a thing was er… disingenuous.
But
I changed all the roaming eyes to gazes, which then led me to wondering how
many times I used the word gaze…and that was an entirely different rabbit hole.
www.lexcovato.com |
It's
a long way down the line, and I've edited a lot of books since then, and read
thousands more – mainstream and ebooks, classics and contemporary works,
literary and genre fiction.
And
I think its time we were honest about that IBP.
It's
a little trick of rhetoric developed way back in the early days of writing by
the ancient Greeks called metonymy. That means that you're substituting one
thing for something closely associated with it, whether for ease of
comprehension or flow, or what have you.
So,
rather than say 75 times in my ms that someone's gaze did something? Sometimes
I might prefer to say that their eyes did it.
That
doesn't mean I'm writing zombie fiction.
After
all, when Shakespeare wrote, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your
ears"' no one took that as stage direction to pelt the actor with actual
ears, did they?
Readers
are clever enough to understand figurative language. I trust them not to
picture eyes wandering about the room on little stalks. If there are readers
who are sensitive to that structure, then perhaps they might conclude that my writing
style isn't for them.