things first, are these sheets silk or cotton?
Cotton. Silk is too
silky. Way too much friction. I’d never get to sleep.
me, the silk is too hot. It doesn't breathe enough. What are you wearing?
Kmart boxers from 2002
and an overabundance of chest hair.
boxers, nice. What are we snacking on in bed while we read tonight?
Bowls of ice cream. Heaping
bowls of ice cream. And Wheat Thins.
combination. Is that to combine the flavors or to cancel out any weight gain? Never
mind. If I open this nightstand drawer, what will I find?
Pledge and a dust
cloth. If you see it, that means you have to use it. House rules.
*grumbles* Do you roll up in the blankets like a burrito, or kick the covers
off during the night?
Yes and yes.
active sleeper then. Can I put my cold feet on your calves to warm them up?
If you’d like. I take a
sleeping pill nightly and expect to be out at any moment. I must warn you
though, I talk in my sleep. Actually, I might be asleep right now.
would explain the snoring. What are we reading?
tales from the pink
side by Gregory Payne
Ten True Tales:
Woman Seeks Saran Wrap
Gets A New Do
That A Grub In Your Pants Or Are You Happy To See Me?
Make A Deal
Dating And Adult Diapers
+ Horse + Sheet Cake = ?
becoming a published author, I had a blog I called Incidental Expenses that
became wildly popular in a short period time. Recently my sister asked why I
had stopped writing it. She loved the blog, my friends loved the blog, and
people I didn’t even know loved the blog, so why is there no blog? The answer
was simple; I got published, finally, writing Gay Erotic Romance as Alex
Carreras, my pen name. Getting published meant staying published which took a
whole heck of a lot of time, especially while still working my day job as a
hairstylist. I loved writing the sometimes emotionally painful but always funny
David Lynch-esque stories based on my life. With her encouragement, I dusted
off a few of my favorites and wrote a couple more, then set about compiling
them into this book.
Warning: All these stories are true. Yes, I
said true! So don’t send me an email asking if they are, indeed, true. But if
you do, I’ll just tell you the same thing.
can be strange, sad, funny, and flat out crazy at times, but for me it’s all
the time…apparently. Also, most of these
tales deal with adult situations so if you’re a tad on the prudish side, you might
want to save your money and buy another book. For the rest of you, enjoy!
Please excuse any typos, grammatical errors, misspellings, and questionable
comma use. I tried my best. No one is perfect. Not even me.
Over thirty years ago,
an English teacher in a small Texas town buried her AP class under tons of
And we loved it.
Because the reading she
gave us wasn't just between the pages of a text book.
It was novels by
fabulous fantasy authors like Piers Anthony, Mary Stewart and even L. Frank
Poetry by Shelley,
Keats and Whitman.
The Picture of Dorian Grey…
An entire world of
romance most of us had never realized existed.
Well, she got fired,
but we got fired up, and to this day I am a fan of many of the writers she
introduced me to.
For instance, Walt
WW is amazing for many
reasons, but I love the way he strung words together, and created images, that
we all might have seen, but never truly felt.
He makes me feel, even
to this day, in ways that I had forgotten. One of my favorite Whitman poems,
and one of the first that I reread this month, was "When Lilacs Last in
the Dooryard Bloom'd" which he wrote in honor of President Lincoln who had
recently been assassinated.
And that reminds me,
that I should absolutely get in the car and drive over to Springfield to the
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955