Welcome to a new Tantalizing Tuesday!
Here's a flash of a different sort for you....
Sylvie
Her eyes sparkle
with humorous challenge; her lips spread in a teasing smile. Everyone stares at
her, but my eyes fall to the tickets she tossed on the table.
People look at us,
not knowing if she's serious. I can't force the words she wants through my
tight throat. My palms dampen, icy sweat drips down my spine. The girls from
our office laugh. They think it's a joke. Part of me does too. Sylvia is way
beyond me. She's pretty, smart...courageous.
The light in her
eyes dims, but her smile's wider, and I see her confidence in me is shaken. Unable
to speak, I lean over the table and kiss her.
The little harpy
inside who's been telling me Sylvie's just messing with me, rests control of my
soul and I jerk away. My lashes drift shut and I swallow hard.
The laughter dies.
The "Haha I was just fooling" never comes.
I pry reluctant
lids open and meet her gaze again.
The sparkle's
back. The girls are making plans for shopping...because it looks like Sylvie
and I are eloping.
Minutes after I
should have spoken, the words I choked on last night burst forth. "Yes. I
love you."
Copyright © 2010, 2011, 2012 by Lee Brazil
The Story Orgy® 2011-2012 The Story Orgy ™
If you enjoyed my flash, check out the others!
Naomi Shaw: http://
Julez S Morbius: http://
Molly Synthia: http://mollysynthia.com
Venus Cahill: www.venusbookluvr.blogspot.com
Don Abdul: http://don-abdul.blogspot.com/
Muffy Wilson: http://
Angelica Dawson: http://
Leann Mitchell: http://
Bonni Sansom: http://
Ray Sostre: http://
Havan Fellows: http://
Dianne Hartsock: http://
Cyril J. Michael: http://
Cassandre Dayne: http://
Gemma Parkes: http://
Benjamin Russell: http://
This is different, Lee. And I loved it. "I pry reluctant lids open...." a delicious teaser. I couldn't figure out where you were taking me until nearly the end and I so enjoyed the ride from the very first line. Beautiful reluctance and shy restraint. He's been hurt before?:) xo
ReplyDeleteGood story-telling, l could feel his lack of self-esteem. She obviously loves him back - sweet post.
ReplyDeleteVery different and yet so poignant - "Yes, I love you." Says so much and no more truly needs to be uttered. I love it
ReplyDeleteThis has a different feel to it than the original version, but still captures her insecurity and trembling hope. Thank God Silvie didn't laugh! A very vulnerable moment. That kiss took courage.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one to think that it's not a HE but a SHE who kissed Sylvie? Maybe I'm wrong though.. Either way, it's beautiful and sweet.
ReplyDeleteGreat post
I got a little confused on the timing, and like Jade, I wasn't sure of the gender of the POV character. It's very engaging though!
ReplyDeleteWow! The build up was intense.
ReplyDeleteFantastic
ReplyDeleteVery intense tease. You've left me with so many questions!
ReplyDeleteExcellent tease. Great crescendo from the tossed cards up to the opening eyelids. I love it
ReplyDeleteYes a she...a very vulnerable she that is breathtakingly in love...*sighs* you always get me with your flashes Lee...*hugs*
ReplyDeleteNice tease!
ReplyDeleteThat was cute. I really enjoyed your teaser!
ReplyDeleteExcellent story telling. I really enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteLee, once again you've got my head spinning. Wow, what just happened? Ok, so "tease" is the right word, I have been teased and tormented. Well, I hope he gets it right, because Sylvie is freaking gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! Loved this one Lee! Always love your teases. You write so beautifully.
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