Breathless Press Round Robin- Featuring Rebekah Lewis & 10 Simple Ways to Anger Dionysus
10 Simple Methods to Anger Dionysus
Hi, Lee! Thanks so much for having me here today to take over your blog this fine morning. For those of you who do not know me, I am a writer for Breathless Press. If you have already read Wicked Satyr Nights, then you already know how Pan ended up pissing off the Greek god of wine which resulted in the curse of the Satyroi. However, just for a good laugh, here are some things that are sure to make him really angry. (I recommend doing these with a friend or tricking your friend into doing them for you, that way you can be blameless if good ole Dion shows up to retaliate.)
1. Find the most well aged, expensive, wonderful wine you can find. Poor the whole thing down the drain. All of it. Laugh while you do it. Nothing pisses a wine god off more than wasted wine. But wasted GOOD wine? Oh, them's fighting words.
2. Trick him into believing you are painting or sculpting a likeness of him to honor him. But then add colorful little touches like…well, he carries around a phallic-like staff called a thyrsus. I will let your imagination carry this one…. (but remember, he does like debauchery—the word was invented because of him! —so you have to be really offensive with it and not just sleazy).
3. Inform everyone you know that Dionysus frolicked around the Greek countryside with grapes in his hair. He loooooooooves being depicted as a wearer of grapes. Loves it. Loves it so much he will crush you like one. (blame this one on your friend.)
4. At any time it works into a conversation, proclaim that Dionysus can suck it because Pan is the bomb-diggity. Eventually he will hear you. He attempts to block things like that out.
5. Dionysus' mother was a human. He doesn't brag about it. But he also is not a fan of "your momma was so human, she…" jokes.
6. If for any reason Dionysus visits you…well, if he does be afraid. He's up to something if he is making house calls. But if he does mistake him for Hermes. He will be most amused. (make your friend do this one)
7. If you prefer to call him by his Roman name, say it with a sheep/goat sound. Baaaaaaaaachus. It gives him a complex and he will consult a mirror. Of course he might smash said mirror after and stab you inventively with a shard of it, but…worth it.
8. Even if you are not a fan of hockey, or if you prefer a different team, wear the New Jersey Devils merchandise in Dion's presence. It reminds him of Pan and that always leads to interesting outbursts.
9. Abstain from all debauchery. He has nightmares about people who abstain. They haunt him in the night.
10. And if you really, really, really want to make him angry…make sure he can hear you when you ask someone one "isn't Dionysus that movie with Robin Williams in it where the board game comes to life?"
You can find Dionysus stirring up trouble as the antagonist of Wicked Satyr Nights. Book two, Under the Satyr Moon is in progress. For updates you can visit my website www.Rebekah-Lewis.com or find me at
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Some creatures want to be found.
When Dr. Katerina Silverton travels into the Pine Barrens to make a documentary on the Jersey Devil, she doesn't believe she will find evidence of anything supernatural. However, Kat soon finds herself face-to-face with the very creature she was sent into the forest to capture on film.
In Ancient Greece, the god Pan made a terrible mistake which resulted in the creation of a race of immortal satyrs. Centuries later, he lives secluded in the Pine Barrens, frightening the mortals by taking the guise of an abhorrent local monster. When a beautiful woman shows up in his forest looking for proof of his existence, Pan can't resist revealing himself to her.
But outside forces may be manipulating them both, pushing them together for nefarious reasons. Kat must decide if she could learn to love a satyr or if his appearance is more than she can handle. Can she resist Pan's wicked nature, or will she give into the temptations beyond
Excerpt: He flapped his leathery wings, and gaining air, Pan swooped down in front of Rick first, shielding himself from the camera lens as he did. The footage would show no visible evidence of him to make believers out of the humans who would view it. As with the first time he toyed with them, he knew sound effects could be easily added from an unseen location, so he wasn't worried about being heard.
Cindy noticed the threat to her husband and shined the light in his eyes, hoping to blind him. He couldn't blame her for not knowing he wasn't a mere animal to be deterred by such a feeble attempt. His eyes adjusted easily to any location and most levels of brightness or darkness. But since he was going for dramatic...
He used his wing to slap the spotlight out of her hands. It skidded across the dirt road with a loud clatter. The light flickered once, twice, dimmed and finally went dead. The moon cast enough light to outline the individuals present, but offered little more than that. Cindy took a few steps back and tripped, landing hard on her ass. She immediately began scrambling backward, attempting to regain her footing.
Rick stepped in front of her, shielding her. He hadn't shut down the camera, but slowly he set it down, probably hoping the beast before him was too stupid to realize what a camera was. Keeping his hands out in nonthreatening gesture, Rick slowly stood up and began to back away. He remained between Pan and Cindy. How very noble.
Pan smiled, though in this form it likely appeared as a snarl. Pushing off from the ground once more, he knocked Rick to the ground, causing Cindy to tumble back down as well. Neither concerned him.
With a gust of air, he pushed upward, flapping his wings as he gained height. The trees made it difficult, but he maneuvered through them like he'd been born to fly. He glided under a low branch toward Katerina.
She dropped to the ground as he went over her head, dodging him. His adrenaline shot through his system, almost as invigorating as an orgasm in itself. He was pleased she wasn't going to be caught easily. The hunt would make the capture so much more satisfying.
Katerina was almost to the van when Pan landed on the top of the vehicle and perched in front of her like a gargoyle, crouched with one hand on the edge of the roof. His wings folded and towered above him as he leered down at her, sizing her up. She stared up at him, mouth open in a scream that provided no sound. He watched as a tear streaked down her face, and he felt it like a sucker punch to the gut.
She was terrified of him. He stood no chance with her now, and he knew it. However, if he gave up and let her go, she'd flee the area and give up her film. She should flee and leave the area. It was the best thing for her to do. The only thing that would keep her safe from his lecherous thoughts.
No. She is mine.
The last time he'd felt a strong connection to someone, he'd let her slip through his fingers and into the path of harm before he could see if anything more could have blossomed between them. Not again. Fuck waiting to see why she was here. He wasn't going to let her leave or stand by as something happened to her.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955